she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
