She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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