I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
After tacos, we're chasing women.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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