Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
