first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish i was in the wii world.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
