last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
