One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She's the barista slut.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
