I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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