i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
