my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
