i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
