I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
