Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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