let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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