I looked at my own cervix.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
