I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
In America we eat man semen.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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