I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
