Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
