I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
