I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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