I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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