i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
