Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
