I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
