I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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