yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
