That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
BRING THE BAGELS
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
