Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
