It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
