My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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