You can't motorboat a personality
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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