i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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