i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
