i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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