before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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