how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
