Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
