No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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