can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
