my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize