dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
