after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
