It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
