It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
