I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
