sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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