no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
