just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
