You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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