My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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