So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Floor bacon is actually really good
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
