on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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