also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
