Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
