can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
