aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
