I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
