Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize