Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize