worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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