Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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