i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
