I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
